An Everyday Pleasure #4: For the Walmart in All of Us

My dream car as a child was a 4X4 monster truck with "fertilizer spreader" tires.

I find Jeff Foxworthy heehaw-larious.

It feels best when I drink my beer (Keystone) in a plastic 7-Eleven cup.

I used listen to hardcore country music.

I've lived in a trailer.

And . . . I consider Fritos and a six-pack of soda to be the breakfast equivalent of cereal and milk.

However, living in the Bay Area has had a significant impact on my preferences, behavior, and appetite.

My ideal car now is a hybrid and my fridge is stocked with lanky glass bottles of artisan brewed pale ales and speciality sodas--courtesy of my roommate. However, the most drastic change in my life, is that my Fritos have been replaced with an exotic potpourri of organic and trans fat-free vegetable chips, including dried slices of parsnip, batata yam, taro, and yucca root.

At times, I miss the combo of carbonated sugar water and the monosodium glutamate saturated cumin corn curls, but I've learned to appreciate the subtleties of vegetable chips. Instead of throwing away the irregular chip with the screwy and burnt looking brown marks, I've learned that "that" is actually taro and it is one of the tastier ones. Admittedly, I originally thought these chips tasted like chalky pieces of broken plaster, but now, my tastebuds have acclimated to this gourmet snack food, which is immensely popular up here in the Bay Area.

But don't tell my roommate, I secretly make late night runs for my Fritos fix.

I hope the revelations in this post haven't destroyed my food blogger cred' in your eyes. Y'all please come back now, y'hear?