Friday, January 20, 2006

Food Humiliation

This past Wednesday, our office threw a reception for the leaders of each of the nationwide district divisions of our organization. (I'll call these leaders, the "district heads.") Suffice it to say, it was a humongous deal.

During the reception, I was deeply engaged in conversation with one of the "district heads," and began enthusiastically motioning with my hands to better make my point. However, as I swept my open palms upward towards the ceiling, I accidentally "karate-chopped" the stem of a filled wine glass on the table in front of me. The wine emptied into the sky, and looked like a liquid boomerang flying in mid-air.

(Imagine the following sequence in slow motion.)

All I could do watch the falling wine with my mouth open. We saw the ribbon of wine land from head-to-heels on the back of another "district head," who conveniently happened to be wearing a cream-colored, khaki suit.

Oh crap.

The room fell silent. All background noises screeched to a halt. Everyone was looking at me.

Seeing the wine fall on the "district head's" back was like watching a Pepé Le-Pew cartoon from the Looney Tunes. (Remember when the black cat would accidentally get a stripe of white paint brushed on the back of her fur coat, so she looked like a skunk?) Well, almost. It was infinitely worse, because the wine didn't just land on his back in a long, unruly "stripe," but there was also this huge "splat" of wine, right on his butt. The wine stain on his derrieré literally was the size of a bowling ball. However, how one glass of wine can make a bowling ball-sized stain is beyond me.

As everyone looked at me, I did the only think I could do. I tried to hold in my sniggers and giggles, and they busted right out of me. Unfortunately, I was the only laughing.

Well, that night was a disaster.

Thanks for listening to my "embarassment of the week." I had to get it off my chest.

Also, since I am posting, I'll just let everyone know that I am calling "time in" again. Thus, if you have a meme and would like to tag me, feel free. I just wanted to space out my posts so that I wouldn't have several meme posts in a row! In fact, I've already been tagged, so look forward to my response to another meme, soon!


  1. Hi PE - Sorry about your embarassing moment. With regards to Memes you could've just invented one - call it most embarassing food moment! LOL!

  2. Oh, and I suppose it was RED wine?
    Your writing is very engaging. I'm reading out loud to Cranky. "Emptied into the sky." "Liquid boomerang."
    (Oh, and we also loved "Cheetos-finger syndrome.")
    um... apologies if this comment publishes twice. I'm having trouble.

  3. That's hilarious. That's what corporate ppl get for wearing Mervyn's khakis haha. I like Kirk's idea for the meme tag. I don't have any embarrassing food moments but I guess it could be for the girls I eat with. Sometimes, they'll have a big green onion or some kind of visible vegetable jammed in their teeth. Do I tell them? Naw. haha. I just laugh to myself.

  4. OH NO! But ha ha, your post did crack me up! And don't worry, I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you! =)

  5. Thanks for sharing your empathy and laughter with me Kirk, Cookie Crumb (and Cranky), Eat, Drink, & Be Merry, and Pam!

    Cookie Crumb, I thank the Good Lord that it wasn't red wine--it was only white! Or as the folks in Napa Valley like to say, "wine that is tinged with the rays of sunshine--like the beautiful yellow feathers of a young canary." Sorry about the mini-novel, I just wanted to convey the way Napa folks view their wine!

    Okay Eat, Drink, & Be Merry, now I'm depressed. I'm usually the "person" that you don't tell! For some reason, huge peppercorns are magnetically attracted to the gap between my two front teeth... That, and I also tend to get chocolate smeared on the seat of my pants.

  6. Hello, sorry but could'nt help to leave without sharing my feeling, are the people with you at the reception lacks of humor or they are just afraid to laugh at the circumstances because it happened to your head district.
    Anyway, i giggled while reading the story, it may happen to anybody.

  7. Thanks for the sweet comment Relly! I appreciate your moral support! I think that they were either afraid to laugh because of the circumstances, or they were appalled by my behavior! Either way, I haven't lost my job yet, and that is a great thing!


Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I read and enjoy every comment, and will try to reply if time permits. If you have a blog, please leave a link. I love to discover new and delicious sites!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...