Becoming Five Potbellied Guys

Southern California has In-N-Out, but the D.C. Area has Five Guys.

Northern California has Wichcraft, but the D.C. Area has Potbelly Sandwich Works.

California has Passionate Eater, but the D.C. Area has. . . Well. . . You get my drift. I was trying to analogize, but my brain is farting right now, so I have nothing for you.

When I visited the beau's family in D.C., the beau's brother ("BB" to abbreviate) took me out to two heavily frequented D.C. eateries, to give me a "real" taste of D.C.

First, BB took me to every D.C. native's favorite burger joint, Five Guys. Both he and the beau warned me, that I might fall for Five Guys and forget about my one, true love, In-N-Out.


Although I was hungry, I wasn't "that" hungry, so I ordered a "little cheeseburger" (instead of the regular double cheeseburger) from the menu. Don't let the name fool you, the burger is still big enough for a hearty lunch. And I am not a small eater.

Five Guys gives every diner their choice of a variety of free toppings for each burger, including raw or fried onions, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, sauteed mushrooms, jalapeno or green peppers, and the regular condiments (ketchup, relish, mayonnaise, mustard) and a few odd ones, including relish, A-1, barbecue sauce, and hot sauce. I basically asked for "everything" on my burger. They also have complimentary peanuts you can munch on as you wait for your order.

My burger came wrapped in foil, with its bread bun squished, wrinkly, and slightly perspiring, and thus exhibiting a bit of a brioche sheen. I was impressed by the looks, to say the least. The taste? Greasy, meaty, and burger-licious.

I also ordered the Five Guys style fries, which were coated in a generous dusting of Old Bay. The fries came in an overflowing styrofoam cup, which itself was inside a paper bag. I don't even know why they put a styrofoam cup inside the bag, because they essentially gave me a huge paper bag stuffed full of fries. If I poured the mountain of fries out onto the table and tried to re-cram them inside the cup, I would be direly unsuccessful. The styrofoam cup is basically there just for kicks.

As for the comparison between Five Guys and In-N-Out? Well, sorry. There is no comparison. Even with all of the free toppings (which actually amounts to very little when all placed on a burger's limited surface area) and the juicy, greasy, and "goes down easy" feel of the Five Guys Zagat rated burger, my heart belongs to the one and only In-N-Out. The burger at Five Guys is just a good burger. A burger at In-N-Out is a marvelously splendid and radiant burger that makes you see rainbows and unicorns. However, I will likely rot as a tormented soul in hell for saying this, but the spicy and flavorful fries at Five Guys are infinitely better than In-N-Out's weird, bleached out styrofoam tasting fries. Yes, I am now guilty of blasphemy/heresy/treason/sabotage/slander, but at least I got that off my chest.

For our second D.C. dining destination, BB took me to Potbelly, where I split a tuna and "A Wreck" sandwich, and sampled Potbelly's homemade strawberry and Oreo shakes. "A Wreck" is a great name for a sandwich, which is basically made of salami, roast beef, turkey, ham and swiss. Simply put, it is made of everything. I ordered mine on wheat and asked for hot peppers, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, pickles, and a little Italian seasoning.


The toasted sandwiches were quite good, albeit small. The sandwiches were better than Subway and Quizno's, and there was great atmosphere goin' on in the eatery. The restaurant is decorated like a jazzed up antique store, and you can actually listen to live music on certain days. And the creamy brain freeze-inducing shakes? Definitely a worthy competitor of In-N-Out. (Sorry, I now have In-N-Out on my brain.)

Thanks BB, for taking me out, and for all you others out there visiting or living in the D.C. Area, check out Five Guys and Potbelly Sandwich Works for some great inauguration-day food!