Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Making Valentine's Day Into a "Carving Holiday"

I am out on a one-woman crusade to make Saint Valentine's Day more enjoyable for passionate eaters, and what better way to make it so, than officially electing it to be another "carving holiday!"

Valentine's Day is such an awkward holiday. It is a holiday that denigrates singledom at the expense of celebrating coupledom. Okay, maybe a little bit of bitterness is seeping in from my past experiences, but c'mon now. It's not like you can go out to eat with a group of your rowdy same-sex friends on Valentine's and not expect to get scowls from the quiet couples who are hunched over their meal. Plus, have you ever gone out to even get take-out on Valentine's Day? I thought so. Me either. It is way too embarrassing to take the "Walk of Shame" to pick up your $5.99 fried rice, as you try not to make eye contact with giggling couples on the sidewalk, because they'll know you are really "alone." I'd rather hide out in my apartment with the blinds drawn, and eat my cold can of pork and beans in front of syndicated reruns, thank you.

Even if you do have a significant other, it is hard to full enjoy a delicious meal without fear of the Valentine's-Day-ramifications. You know what I mean. You want to look your sexiest in your tight-fitting black dress, or your starched and tailored tuxedo, and that means eschewing seconds, and lightly nibbling on the rich chocolate dessert. Simply put, Valentine's is not the time to wear baggy, plaid-patterned elastic pants, and it is not good to look like you have a bun in the oven, when the "bun" is really dinner from that night.

So I've decided that I am changing the way I celebrate Valentine's Day, and I'm making it into a holiday where I still celebrate love, but not in the traditional sense. I am going to celebrate love generally, or my love for friends and family, single or attached.

What better way to celebrate "love," than by making a huge Valentine's feast? I know that couples generally make romantic dinners together for Valentine's, but I'm talking about a big feast--the kind that requires you to bring out the carving knife. This calls for drippings, juices, gravies, and hot steam wafting up into your nostrils! Plus, my justification is that the caloric-intake from scarfing down all of the Valentine's Day chocolates throughout the day roughly equates to having a big, meaty meal.

This is my plan. On the Fourth of July, it's barbeque ribs. On Thanksgiving, it's turkey. On Christmas, it's a beef roast. On Valentine's Day, it's anything you want, as long as you love what you'll be eating, and you share it with someone you love.

I hope that this post has piqued your interest, and that you'll consider having Valentine's Day of "carving" proportions this year!


  1. Excellent idea, PE.
    Why do I have a sudden craving for some hot and tasty freshly carved ham?!

  2. Hi PE - You are a hoot!!! BTW, I don't think there's any occasion for "baggy, plaid-patterned elastic pants", unless you're with Barnum and Bailey's! I've had my share of fried rice VD's, but a carver's Valentine's fine by me..... Happy Valentine's day.

  3. Today, i ate a bowl of ramen at Asahi Ramen in West LA. Everyone there was a couple. I could care less... I just wanted to finish my bowl of goodness. As a single, I thought to myself, "what is everyone talking about right now?" reaffirming their love for each other? talking about the first time they met each other? how their life has changed since crossing baths? probably. but over a bowl of ramen? haha. how classic.

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  5. (oops i messed up on the first one)Hi PE! I definitely have to agree, that while a nice dinner is great and totally appreciated there is something super special about being able to eat tons of great food home-cooked (and saving $$ so they can get you a nicer gift instead :p) with the special someone in your life

  6. PE, you are so funny!

  7. Thank you for your wonderful comments Rachel, Kirk, Eat, Drink, & Be Merry, LL, and Alfred! I hope that each of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day this year!

    Kirk, you'd be surprised, but I do whip out my elastic pants every Thanksgiving or on days I go to "all-you-can-eat" buffets! They sure do come in handy!

    I agree Eat, Drink, and Be Merry. One needs to get away from the "oochie-goochie-smoochieness" of Valentine's Day sometimes. Tell em' to just eat their bowl of ramen like it was any other day!

    Your "gift-theory" is a sound one LL!


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